For Real, Though!
“I’m mad at you! We haven’t been able to meet for two weeks and I haven’t been doing what I said I was going to do! It’s all your fault!” This was how the conversation started yesterday as I met with my friends and accountability partners. Luckily, my friend was saying that jokingly and sarcastically, but there was some truth in jest. We are better together!
A year ago at church, my husband preached on “Two More.” Finding two more people you connect with that you can have as accountability partners. Two people that want to see you grow in your walk with the Lord and will hold you to it. It was then that I prayed about who those people would be for me and asked them to be that. We have been meeting for about a year and we see how these meetings are what we need to push us and encourage us to follow through in several areas of our lives.
Accountability is a word that stirs some sort of response when you hear it. Fear, dread, and even anger are some common responses to the word. With accountability comes the idea of transparency, dependency, and humility. None of those sound all that appealing! What we know and what has been taught from the Scripture is that when those things are present, growth takes place. Often we fear others’ responses to our true thoughts and feelings. Or if we dig deep, we find that pride keeps us at arm’s length from people. We say (and assume) they are judgemental even before we have given them a chance to come alongside us in love. In true accountability, you will find those who will speak the truth to you, even when it is hard, out of love and a desire to see you look more like Jesus.
Accountability is community and accountability is authenticity. We hear people around us use the phrase, “For real, though” meaning, “that’s true” or “no kidding”. If we were sitting down together, I would say, “find someone or a couple of people that you can be authentic with, for real, though!” 🙂 To dive in to this life-growing journey, decide to peel off the layers, take off the masks, and let someone know and love you for real!
Who?
Who do you want to partner with you for accountability and community? First, make sure they are the same gender. That should go without saying, but I just want to be sure that’s clear. Someone told me when looking for a spouse, “as you are running the race of faith, look to the right and to the left and see who is running beside you. Then link up with them and keep running.” The same goes with your accountability group, look to the right and left and look for people running a race like yours. Maybe they are in the same stage of life, they are serving and worshipping like you, they have similar interests, etc. Then, just ask them! Tell them what you have in mind and ask them if they want to try it. If it doesn’t quite work out, it’s ok. Don’t give up! Just regroup and try again.
Where and When?
Go ahead and set a time and place that you will meet. If you don’t do this, it will never happen. Calendars and schedules take over and it will fall to the bottom of the list. Will you meet weekly, bi weekly, monthly? What time of day will work for all of you? Will you meet in a coffee shop, as you walk, in someone’s home? Make it convenient so you will have less excuses to miss!
What?
Once you have your people and your schedule, what will you do together? This can be a Bible study time or a time that you read a book together and discuss it when you meet. Sometimes you are already involved in a Bible study, so don’t add another study just for the sake of having something to do. In my group, we have studied the same thing for a period of time, but this year we are doing something different. We are focusing on 5 areas of our life and we just go through and discuss those 5 areas quickly. As we talk through those areas it gives us ways to pray for each other. We have each set a goal for the 5 areas, so we ask each other, “how are you doing with your physical goal? Spiritual goal? Occupational goal?” No one likes to be put on the spot when you haven’t been doing what you said you will do, but without that, we might never get to it. The areas we focus on and ask each other about are:
- Emotional
- Spiritual
- Physical
- Relational
- Occupational
I have all three of our goals written down for each area and we go down the list and ask each other about it. Without someone asking and checking in, we have conversations like the one at the beginning of this post. Conversations like, “without you asking me, I didn’t do it!” I don’t think that means we are weak, I think it is a reminder that we were not meant to do it alone. The Bible tells encourages us to do life together(Hebrews 10:25), to pick each other up(Ecclesiastes 4:9-12), to sharpen each other (Proverbs 27:17), to confess sin to each other for restoration (James 5:16), to rescue each other from wandering (James 5:19-20), share burdens (Galatians 6:2), encourage each other (Colossians 3:16, 1 Thessalonians 5:11), build each other up (Romans 15:1-7), and so much more.
How?
To get started, just do it! The sooner you start the better. The longer you put it off, the less likely you will be to ever do it. What would keep you from partnering with two more people? Really, what is it? Name what it is so that you can confess it and get past that and move on to growing together. I’m excited for you, knowing how God can use this in your life!
Blessings, Christa
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