Connected in the Storm

This post is heavier than what I intended on including in this blog, but something that applies to everyone at some point. This post is about storms- not the thunder and lightning kind-but the life storms that come out of nowhere and cause us to run for cover. Like the thunderstorms that occur in nature, we know that storms will come and come again. James 1 even tells us, “Consider it pure joy, brothers and sisters, WHEN you face trials of many kinds…” James didn’t say “IF you face trials” but “WHEN”.

My husband and I have been in ministry since the day we met and have walked through storms with people and through storms of our own. It has been a privilege to walk side by side with people we love through these times. James uses the phrase “trials of many kinds” which translated means trials of many colors. I think of that phrase often when I hear of different trials in people’s lives. I think about how each of these things are so different, but hard all the same. They come in every color and shade you can imagine- medical diagnosis, death, loss, divorce, financial problems, wayward children, injustice, disappointment- each one a trial of a different color. Some dark colors, some a little lighter, but each one painting the landscape of a person’s life.

Recently we have been walking through a storm with a family that is one of the darkest colors in the box. If I had my way, I would never see my friends hurt like this. They are holding on to the faithfulness of God and trusting that he is still writing their story. Their strong faith encourages me and those around them. As they continue to walk through this storm, I have seen people and the community around them be like Aaron was to Moses in Exodus 17- seeking to hold up their arms in this battle as they grow weary. I have been encouraged by people who don’t know them personally seeking to reach out and minister to them. This journey, though far from over, has brought to light what it means to be connected in a storm. God has designed the church (believers) to be interdependent and interconnected. He desires us to function as one body- a body that hurts when one of its members hurts. I see that playing out in this storm just as I have in other storms as well.

What are some reminders and steps to take when we walk through storms with others?

The assurance for a follower of Christ is that you are not alone. First and most important, if you have a relationship with Jesus, you have the presence of the Holy Spirit in your life. The Bible teaches us that he is our comforter (I Thess. 1:6), our guide (John 16:13), and he gives us hope (Romans 15:13). I love that the Bible reminds us over and over that God will never leave us. (Deut. 31:8, Joshua 1:9, Isaiah 41:10-13, Joshua 1:5) It is true that trials and storms WILL come, but just as certain are the promises of God- that He will not leave us all alone to fend for ourselves.

The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves the.

Psalm 145: 18-19

Secondly, you are not alone because you have the presence of other believers in your life. This is assuming you are connected to a church or group of Jesus followers. I could make a case for why it is important to be plugged in to a church, but I’ll save that for later. For now I want to encourage you to find believers that you can walk through life with. God is going to use you in their lives to serve them and be a source of life to them in their storms. In turn, they will be the same for you. WHEN those trials come, you will need people to stand with you to weather the storm. My family experienced this when we had a particularly crazy year. My 10 year old daughter had a major knee surgery and was in a wheelchair for 2 months and therapy for several months. Before she even had a chance to heal, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, had two surgeries and complications from those. A few months later, a disc collapsed in my back which lead to another major surgery and months of recovery and therapy. In that year, we pulled out several shades of colors from the trial box! Also in that year, we were so blessed by the community around us. People served us, prayed for us, encouraged us, cooked for us, and so much more. I will forever be thankful for the way they displayed the love of Christ to me and my family. I have said before that when we share our burdens with others, the burden gets divided and gets lighter. Find those that you can trust to help shoulder some of your burden.

Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

Here are a few ways to connect with others during the storms…

1. Show Up. If you are like me, you don’t know what to do when someone is hurting. Honestly, it makes us uncomfortable. Partly because we can’t fix it, partly because we don’t know how to help or what to do in the situation. What I have learned is that you just show up. You don’t have to come with explanations or the perfect casserole. You just come. I promise they will never remember what you say as much as the fact that you were there. Your presence shows them that they are not alone and they will not have to do this alone. For those of you introverts that are having heart palpitations right now, showing up doesn’t mean you have to camp out for the day! Just drop by, give a hug, let them know you are available. If you are one they sought out to call or include in the news of the trial, you are one that could show up to support.
2. Listen Up. I am one that thinks, “I don’t know what to say” when it comes to hard situations. What I have learned is that sometimes I just need to be a sounding board. I don’t need to arrive with a list of solutions, just a willingness to listen. This happens often with my husband and myself. I share something that’s bothering me and he immediately goes into superman, fix it mode. He always asks, “what can I do to help you?” I love that he is willing, but 9 times out of 10, I just need him to listen and hear me out. That is all I need him to do. The same applies to our friends and the things they are going through. Often, they just need you to listen.
3. Speak Up. There are times to listen and then also times to speak up. Speaking up can be such a source of encouragement to those around you. Speak up about what Scripture says about them, about the promises of God all throughout the Bible, and about His faithfulness to them before this storm hit. This is precisely why Joshua told the Israelites in chapter 4 to set up some stones by the river that God helped them cross. He said to set them up as a memorial so that when their children asked, “what do these stones mean?” they would be able to point back to the faithfulness of God. We can be someone who points our friends back to the past faithfulness of God, encouraging them to trust him with their present and their future. Speak up when you see them, speak up with a call, speak up with a text, email, or card. I know there is often the question of, “do I talk about IT?” Do you mention the elephant in the room- the thing that is causing so much hurt? I say yes- acknowledge what they are going through. It is much more awkward to dance around it and act like it is not there. I would also issue a warning not to make it about you. I heard the phrase, “conversational narcissism” recently. It is the idea that you can take someone else’s situation and turn the conversation around to be all about you. I didn’t know if I was guilty of this until I heard myself do it! For example, someone is having a serious surgery and they are talking to you about how they are worried about it. Instead of acknowledging their fear, you chime in with , “well, when I had surgery….” or “If it were me….” Listen to yourself and watch out for making someone else’s storm all about you. Put them first, and listen, and encourage.
4. Give Up. I don’t love storms or watching people walk through them, but what I do love is when the body of Christ comes together to support, serve, and give to the people in them. The amazing thing about being in a community of believers is that you get to express and experience the love of Christ in tangible ways. You get the privilege of representing Christ through serving others and then experiencing his love when others serve you. This is another question we ask ourselves when needs arise, “what can I do?” Meals are always a great help to families experiencing trials. Dinners that they can warm up easily as needed, lunch basket with sandwich items, muffins and coffee for breakfast, a dessert for the family to share are all easy meal ideas. (keep an eye out for my post on my favorite cake to share!) I heard about a lady who knew her friends would have a lot of extra people in their house because of a tragedy, so she stopped by and delivered toilet paper, trash bags, and paper towels. For someone in a financial trial, gas cards, grocery cards, and shopping cards are a huge help. When I had back surgery, some friends all went together to pay for a lady to clean my house a couple of times after surgery. There are a million things you could give and ways to serve. Be creative and put yourself in their shoes. Pray about it and when God gives you an idea, don’t dismiss it as something crazy (like toilet paper), but act on it and know that God will use you.
5. Follow Up. We all know that help and support comes quickly when a storm hits and that is awesome! Just like a tornado or hurricane, there is clean up and rebuilding that comes afterward. Don’t forget the same is true for your friends who are experiencing trials. There may be some follow up you can do that would be just the encouragement they need in the moment. Be diligent about praying for them and conscientious about letting them know that you are. There is something so encouraging about knowing a friend thought of you today and thought enough about you to speak your name to the Father. That act of obedience reminds them that God hasn’t forgotten them, that he still sees and knows what they are going through. A quick text to let them know you were praying for them today can have more impact than you realize.

We know storms will come to us and will come to others. Let us weather them together well, believing that, “God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” Romans 8:28

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